Just dropping by to update you on Mom. She is declining and getting weaker each day. She is now on oxygen and last night agreed to a hospital bed. Bless her sweet heart, she has been trying to avoid both of these as I know she views them as letting go of independence. My Mom has always been very independent and has not wanted others to do for her. I know that having to give in to these things was a hard decision for her but I hope that by doing so, she will rest better.
After the bed was brought in and set up and we got her back into it, she did go to sleep and slept for about an hour really well. That has become the routine, sleep an hour, wake up, use the bathroom, go back to sleep, etc.
Last night she was annoyed with her TV remote. It is getting hard for her to push the buttons; she doesn't have a lot of strength left and she kept turning the volume WAY up and then back down and occasionally change the channel. I asked if I could help her and she told me no, that she could do it. I leave her be when she's trying to do stuff because I know she needs to do as much for herself as she can but sometimes it does get comical. When I looked up again, she had the remote turned over and was trying to take the battery cover off. I reminded her that we had put a new battery in it on Monday and she said that she knew that, she just wanted to make sure it was still in there. If you don't laugh, you cry.
Before I left last night, she was looking for something beside the bed. I got up and asked her what she was looking for. She told me she wanted that thing with the leg brace. Now this is a new one on me since we have nothing there with a leg brace. I went to get my Aunt and told her what was going on. We both went back and asked her again what she wanted. I gave her the remote for the bed and after raising and lowering the foot part a couple of times, she said that wasn't what she was looking for. She said, "I want that thing that has one button on it for the leg brace!". Then she laid back down and said, "I'll show you tomorrow."
The frustration is evident in everything she tries and she is confused a lot now. It is really hard watching her go from the vital, in control woman she has always been to this weak, confused little woman who needs to be helped with almost everything. However, I have a sense of calm about me. I have accepted that the end is near and in doing so, I am at peace. There has been such a feeling of peace and calmness this week. I am so very thankful that she isn't in any pain and that for the most part, she is still lucid and knows who everyone is and what is going on.
Thank you, all my bloggy friends, for all your kinds thoughts and words during this time. They have been a comfort to me. I'll be back when I can. I am working on some cross stitch and reading a lot while sitting with Mom.