A lot of states are re-opening even though the COVID-19 cases continue to go up. With deaths reaching 80,000 in the US alone, this coronavirus is still being touted as fake, no worse than the flu, etc, etc, etc. One death is too many but it seems people who haven't been affected really don't care. I haven't heard the current president offer one expression of sympathy for those who have lost their lives or for the ones who have lost loved ones. At the moment, he is more concerned about his chances for reelection than what's going on with the health of the people whom he represents. His self-congratulations for a job well done grate on my nerves. He has not done a good job. If anything, he sentenced our country to the horrors of this disease by not believing it was "so bad" and not going full force to head it off. He allowed it to develop to the point that it became a catastrophe. But I am also angry at the people who have complained about being asked to stay home to help stop the spread and who have now gone back to shopping and gathering in groups without even a face mask. It seems they think that if the stores are open, the restaurants are open, then out they go and forget all about any safety procedures. 

My feelings today are bouncing from anger to depression to disgust to every other emotion in the book. I would like to go out and eat, I would like to go to the grocery store, dammit, and I don't even like doing that chore. Yes, I am tired of staying home and not being able to go about as I please BUT, I have to protect myself. I have to lean on my husband to do the necessary things because I am 69 years old and have RA and asthma and I'm at risk if I should become infected. And I have to watch his frustration and anxiety each time he leaves home, his constant cleaning and his worry about both of us.

Now because everyone is so eager to get out and about and go to Walmart, and TJ Maxx, and to restaurants, we will be having to stay home longer. If there was even a modicum of sense being used, it might not be so bad. But when I see no facemasks, no distance between, I don't feel safe. I cannot allow myself to go into that. I've moved all medical and dental appointments to June but I'm not sure I'm going to feel comfortable with them even then. 

Time to stop ranting and try to get myself calmed down. No more news, no more facebook, no more anything until I'm more settled.

Hugs

Sharon 

IT'S BEEN A MINUTE!

I felt the urge to record my thoughts and feelings during this time and I was amazed that it's been almost a year and a half since I last posted. Much has happened; some good, some bad and there's no way I can completely recall a whole year. I regret not posting during all this time. This blog was my safe space, my record of life and my activities. I am sad about losing that year but all I can do is start again and move forward.

I have been keeping up with many of you even though I've not been active on my own. I enjoy getting the glimpse into your life that you allow me, especially during this hard time we are all enduring together.

So where to begin. Obviously, I'm still alive and kicking, well, maybe not kicking. That would imply ability to stand on one foot while the other was in the air. I'm doing good to stand on two feet without stumbling. I've noticed over the past year a more stumbly nature to my tread, especially when the ground isn't perfectly flat as most yards and fields and parks, etc are not. I use a cane in those instances. Who am I kidding? I use a cane in most instances now. But I am mobile and that's a good thing.

When COVID-19 reached the USA, I chose to stay at home beginning March 6 with only 1 trip to see my cardiologist and 1 trip to the dentist for my cleaning. Otherwise, I've moved all my appointments to June or later in the year. Unless there's an emergency, this lady is staying here. Our county in Tennessee has not been hit has hard as others but we are starting to see an uptick in positive cases. This is happening as the governor has started relaxing the closures and some places are reopening following guidelines that are, at best, suggestions, not requirements.

My husband turned 66 in September of 2019 and had no plans to retire until he was older. The coronavirus put paid to that plan. His employer did not provide cleaning supplies, guidelines for safe performance and any other safety features for the work place. He is a P&D (pickup and delivery) driver and was having a lot of trouble dealing with all the issues. Knowing that I was at home with an autoimmune disease, a pacemaker and a low level of asthma and that he was out in the public with no protection was causing so much anxiety for him, he decided to take some vacation time, starting on March 14, to see how things went and if this whole mess would clear up or how it would evolve. We discussed it a great deal and knowing he would eventually be out of vacation days before either of us felt it would be safe to return to work, he made the decision to retire. He is an active person, not a TV watcher or a reader and has to be constantly doing something. When we checked into the pension benefits and the fact that after a year, he can return to any kind of job without jeopardizing his benefits, he was satisfied.

It's been a adjustment for both of us. I'm very use to having the house to myself all day and having quietness around me. I only watch a little TV, especially now that I'm no longer using cable TV and have changed to ROKU for channels I choose to watch. He has started adjusting to sleeping a little later (which I was totally surprised about), going at his own pace whether it's working in his workshop, the garden, helping me with the housework and cooking or just getting out to ride his bike during the day when he chooses. I'm getting use to him being here all day and popping in and out. I swear, sometimes he's worse than my kids ever were for running in and out. *smile*

My biggest enjoyment now is listening to audiobooks and cross stitching. As I move through this 69th year of my life, I'm noticing more aches and pains and being still sometimes is just what I need. I do stay mobile, walking and doing what housework I can manage but there are days when being quiet and still are the best for me.

I will end here for today. For my record and hopefully for anyone still following who might like to see, below are some photos from the last year. I'll have more photos and more stories tomorrow. Stay safe, stay well, and know I care.

Hugs,
Sharon