Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Here I am

I have decided that I need to quit makings plans and just go with the flow. I had all these plans to take photos of my projects and of the sweet parcel I received from Amanda of Crafty in the Med. Have I done any of it? Nope, nope and nope. I have so much whirling around in my head that I can't seem to settle and get anything done.

The cold weather has been terrible. Yesterday (Monday) it was rainy and cold and that makes me hurt all over. I had some errands to run so I bundled up and tried to get them done. However, the truck had other ideas. The battery had given up the ghost so I stayed home. I think the truck was smarter than me. Then today I got up to snow, just a light dusting, but snow never the less. BRRRRR. It never got above freezing all day. The Hubs put a new battery on the truck last night and again, I was set to go do my errands but one of the people I was planning to see called and said he was going to the doctor because he was sick. So I did what any sensible little old lady who hates cold weather would do....I went back to bed.  LOL

The Hubs has been the lucky recipient of all this staying home. I've actually cooked a meal both Monday and Tuesday. Bless his heart, he never knows when there going to be hot food or when he will need to dive into the freezer to fix himself something. It keeps him on his toes and off center so he's always happy when the meal appears.

Tomorrow, the weather is suppose to be better with highs in the 40's so once again, I'm going to try to get those errands done. Then I will try, try, try to get the camera out and do the photo shoot and be back for another post. I thought I would let you know so you won't be shocked to see two posts in one month. Now I just have to put my money where my mouth is!

Take care, dear friends. Thank you for being my bloggy friends and for caring about me.

Hugs,
Sharon

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

What's Going on Around Here

It's going to be a wordy post with maybe a few photos, or not. It's been busy around here these past couple of weeks. I have been trying to get a lot of things done so I can enjoy the rest of the month. I have been trying to do some major cleaning also before winter gets here and all I want to do is cross stitch and read. It's very hard to get much done when all I can do is 15-30 minutes of work and then have to rest for at least 30 minutes. It's very annoying and breaks my rhythm. But as I keep reminding myself, at least you can do something and I try to hang on to that while I'm resting.

Last week, we got a visit from our daughter and youngest grandson. James (Jellybean) spent 3 days with us and let me tell you, that boy is a delight. He is 20 months old now (how did that happen?) and is very curious about everything. He has this little sideways glance when he knows he not suppose to do something and I can't help but laugh at him. There are certain things that I have told him not to get into and he will hunch up his shoulders and give me that sideways look and reach out and touch whatever it is with his finger. My goodness, it's hard to keep a straight face.

He got to spend a lot of time with his Papaw. He loves his Papaw so very much and Papaw enjoyed the one on one time he spent with James, or as he calls him, J.B. When they got here on Wednesday, Abby let him run around in the yard for a while because he had been cooped up in his car seat for so long. It's about a 4 hour drive and he gets tired of riding. He wanted in the swing on the front porch so we sat and swung for a few minutes. He went back out in the yard and started around the house and yelled, "Papaw!" He know his Papaw is either in the garden or in the basement most of the time. However, Papaw had to work that day so he wasn't here. I think James was disappointed.

I was one worn out Mimi on Friday afternoon but I am so glad I got to spend time with Abby and James. I love that little man and his mama! I had so much fun playing with him that I totally forgot to take any photos. Bad Mimi!

I'm also planning on going to Georgia the 24th of October to spend a few days with the GA grandbabies. The Hubs is off that next week and he doesn't want me to drive so he's taking me down and then coming home and trying to catch up on jobs he has been putting off all year. Then he will come back for me when I'm ready to come home. That will probably be Tuesday. Plans are now for me to babysit on Saturday night while Doug and Trisha go to a party. I'm a little nervous as I haven't done that for any of the grandkids all by myself. The last time I did anything like that, Mom was with me. I'm really going to miss her being with me on this trip.

The weather here has been rain, rain, rain for almost a week now. It turned cold the first week of October but warmed up the second week before the rain set in. According to the local weather guy, we have been low on rainfall for the year. I think this week of rain has caught up and then some. Today it is really windy and rainy but not too cold. My joints are sure not enjoying all this damp weather.

The Hubs and I are planning on going to Asheville, NC this weekend. We both sort of forgot our anniversary on the 6th (42 years!) and he called today and suggested a trip to make up for it. Gotta love that guy. Hopefully, all the leaves won't have blown off the trees by then. It's really pretty over there. Asheville is surrounded by mountains and the area is one of my favorite places to visit. Maybe I won't forget my camera so I can show you this great little town.

I have to tell you about my daughter's Etsy shop. It is Abby Crafty and she is putting in hand knit items and doing commission work. Right now she is doing Christmas stockings and they are beautiful. She is so talented and can do just about anything she sets her mind to. Go over and visit and while you are at it, please visit her blog. It is also called Abby Crafty. Her work is really pretty and I'm so proud of her.

Well, that about does it for me today. Hopefully, the next post will be crammed full of photos of beautiful trees and mountains. Thank you for visiting.

Hugs,
Sharon

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Hi, Ya'll

Hello out there. It seems my plans have gone awry again. I truly meant to post at least once a week. However, I had another bout of RA inflammation that hindered my mobility. My hips, knees and feet seem to have a mind of their own and when they decide to act up, I don't get around very well. As I've said in the past, my grandmother was bedridden for at least the last 18 years of her life and when my legs and feet start this, I come close to panicking. Even though I have been told repeatedly by my rheumatologist to remember the advances that have been made in the last 45 years, it is still scary for me. And now I don't have my Mom to bounce these feelings off. She was the one I turned to when I became overwhelmed about RA and the one who could ease me. Now I talk to my daughter and she does a really good job. She's even told me not to worry, that they will get me a Hover-round when the time comes! My grandkids love my electric recliner; how much more would they love Grammy's scooter??

Speaking of grandkids, I am going to be lucky in October. Abby and Sweet Baby James will be coming to visit for a few days sometime the week of Oct 5th and then I'm going south see the babies in GA. The Hubs is on vacation the last week of October and he doesn't want me driving so he is going to take me and then come home and work on the ton of stuff he has going here and come back and get me when I'm ready. I'm going to be a happy Grammy for sure. I must remember to take lots and lots of photos!!

Not much crafty going on right now. Oh, I have lots and lots of projects, both counted cross stitch and crocheting but working on them isn't happening very much. I think I'll do a post on all the upcoming projects to show everyone how good I am at procrastinating.  :)

I do have this to show you. Sorry for the blurry photos.



I made a baby blanket and hat for a friend's first granddaughter. The hat is a first for me. I've never made one before and I have fallen head over heels in love with it. I think I can make myself one now. Of course not in those colors but I won a give away from Meredith at Mereknits last year and it is most gorgeous chocolate yarn. I think a hat would be cute made from it. This is the yarn:


I think I can do a simple hat from this!

I also finished the mystery sampler from Lizzie*Kate from last year while Mom was sick. It seems when I am dealing with someone's illness, counted cross stitch comforts and centers me. When my Dad was in the hospital just before he passed away, I worked on a "Snow White and Seven Dwarfs" Disney piece. I put it away after Dad died and I'm not sure where it is but I do need to get it out and get it framed along with this one.




I loved working on this and can't wait until November when her newest mystery kit comes out. I have already pre-ordered it and now I have to patiently wait.  BAH!  I've also ordered a Halloween mystery kit from a couple of years ago to do in the meantime. And then there are Elijah's and James' birth samplers to do. See what I mean when I say "projects"!

I started a CAL about 3 weeks ago and I'm already 3 weeks behind. The 4th clue came out today and I'm just finishing the 1st one. Procrastination, thy name is Sharon.  :)

I guess that's all for now. I will do my best to be back sooner and to have something worthwhile to talk about. Until then,

Hugs,
Sharon

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Final

Sorry I've been away so long. I planned on trying to do a blog every week to get back in the swing of things, but as you can see, that didn't happen. It's been mostly good days here but the roller coaster is still in full swing.

I got a phone call Friday afternoon telling me Mom's marker had been set. I thanked the lady, hung up and burst into tears. I had one of those deep, hard sobbing cries that come from way down inside your heart. You never know when something is going to hit you like that and I was surprised. But nothing could stop the tears. This meant it was final. A marker giving Mom's name and dates of birth and death puts final to everything.

I had known I would go to the cemetery when I knew the marker had been placed so I gathered up my purse and keys and headed out. The Hubs was on vacation Friday and was mowing the yard; I stopped him to tell him where I was going and he offered to go with me. But I thought I wanted to be by myself so I thanked him and told him no.

Mom's church sits on a lovely piece of property that juts out into the lake. The church and cemetery are on top and the three sides slope down to the lake. It is very quiet there and with fall coming, it is serene. I had sent a text to my Aunt Kat telling her about the marker and since she was heading in that direction, she went by to see it and sent me a text back telling me it looked really good.

It takes about 20 minutes, sometimes a little longer, to get to the church from my end of the county and on the drive, I managed to get the tears under control only to have them burst back at random times. At the cemetery, I walked over and was hit with another round of hard tears. Seeing the marker put it all into place. It's almost like I've been living in a fantasy land, not quite believing that it's true, yet knowing Mom is gone. The marker made it final. Made it the end. I don't know how long I stood there and cried. I finally sent a text to my aunt and she came back to be with me. After a good, long cry in her arms, we walked back and visited one more time. We discussed new flowers for the stone and since Sunday was homecoming at the church, I decided to get them right away and place them on Saturday.

The weekend has not been very productive as I've not had the energy or the desire to do much. My sister came up today to visit the cemetery. She came to the house and we had another long cry. I asked her why she didn't call me so I could meet her there and she wouldn't have had to be by herself, but she said she wanted that time alone. I understand. Sometimes, it's better to do the hard part by yourself and then reach out for comfort afterwards.







The flowers are much brighter and look better than the photo shows. There are mostly oranges and yellows with some fall leaves thrown in.


I hope this post isn't too much of a sad bit. I use my blog to record my feelings about things that happen in my life and this just had to be said. 

I want to thank each one of your for your kind, caring comments. I know I will get through this but it's just going to take time. It's the little things now that grab me. Like her little pig she had in her car. Mom loved pigs, the uglier, the better. I have named this little one, Maggie (a name my mother hated, by the way) and she sits up on the dash in the defrost grill so she can see where we are going. I cried the first couple of times when I got in the truck and saw her, but now I have a smile for her.

Take care, my dear bloggy friends. I hope you each have a wonderful week filled with joy, laughter and love.

Hugs,
Sharon

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Away From the Dark Side

Dear bloggy friends. I have been here several times over the past few weeks but there were no words in my head or heart to put down. I have been in a deep, dark place that not only was filled with depression and sadness, but pain and weakness. Losing Mom has to be one the hardest thing I have ever experienced. There was such a feeling of no feeling, if that makes any sense. I didn't "feel". I was just dead inside, like there was a big empty hole inside me and nothing could ever fill it up again. There were days when I didn't even get out of bed. I wanted nothing to eat and wanted no one around. I slept and slept and slept because there was nothing else in my world to do.

I also managed to develop a bladder infection and to have my RA get way out of control. The bladder infection was taken care of by antibiotics and now, after 3 weeks, my RA is starting to get back under control. I have moments of weakness and get so tired so easily but my old friend, "No Sleep", is back for a visit and the nights get long.

The whole time Mom was ill and slowly fading away, I told myself I was ready to let her go. I told myself that it would be better for her and that was all that was important. I forgot that it wouldn't be better for me. I forgot that I need my Mom all the time and now that she's not here, I don't have that motherly love to lean on. My family has been wonderful, checking on me, helping me out and doing what they can, but this journey is one I really have to take by myself. There are days when all I do is cry and then there are days when I smile because I know Mom is where she should be and she's watching over me. Now, six weeks after she left us, I can see a glimmer of a light at the end of the tunnel. My husband asked me last night how long the tunnel was and I told me that I felt like it was as long as my life but I am going to come out the other side. I have grandbabies to visit and books to read and crafts to do. Life has to be better than what I have been through this month and a half.

I spent yesterday re-reading my blogs and your comments through Mom's journey. I wouldn't trade those blogs for anything. They are a reminder of what we went through and of how strong my Mom was. She has always amazed me in her strength and this was no different. My sister and I have been paying off bills and settling accounts. My Mom, who only worked a short amount of time in her life, managed none the less to have enough money saved to pay for her final expenses. Mom could find a bargain with the best of anyone and she scrimped and saved when my Dad passed away to make sure my sister had what she needed. Mom was 49 and my sister was 11 when Dad died. There was some money for a while from social security but that didn't last long. My sister never wanted for anything that she truly needed and even went to college and earned a degree in aerospace engineering. All because Mom worked hard to keep expenses low so the money was there. Granted, Stacey got funding but that doesn't pay all the bills. I am in awe of my Mom. I will never, ever reach her level of parenting and caring. She took care of everyone, not just our family, but her brothers and sisters and friends.

Thank you, my dear, wonderful bloggy friends, for everything through this time. I have leaned so much on your kind comments. As the light keeps getting brighter, I hope to be back blogging on a regular basis and cross stitching and crocheting and catching up on all of your blogs. I am woefully behind on that but I'm working on it.  :)

Hugs to you all,

Love,
Sharon




Friday, June 27, 2014

The battle is over

I wanted to let all of you know that Mom passed away last night, Thursday, June 26. She is finally at peace and I am happy with that. I will miss her every day of the rest of my life.

I will be back later to let you know more but I did want to thank each of you who left commments. I will never be able to tell you how much that meant to me and how much it helped during this time. I send my love to each of you.

Hugs,
Sharon

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Update

Just dropping by to update you on Mom. She is declining and getting weaker each day. She is now on oxygen and last night agreed to a hospital bed. Bless her sweet heart, she has been trying to avoid both of these as I know she views them as letting go of independence. My Mom has always been very independent and has not wanted others to do for her. I know that having to give in to these things was a hard decision for her but I hope that by doing so, she will rest better.

After the bed was brought in and set up and we got her back into it, she did go to sleep and slept for about an hour really well. That has become the routine, sleep an hour, wake up, use the bathroom, go back to sleep, etc.

Last night she was annoyed with her TV remote. It is getting hard for her to push the buttons; she doesn't have a lot of strength left and she kept turning the volume WAY up and then back down and occasionally change the channel. I asked if I could help her and she told me no, that she could do it. I leave her be when she's trying to do stuff because I know she needs to do as much for herself as she can but sometimes it does get comical. When I looked up again, she had the remote turned over and was trying to take the battery cover off. I reminded her that we had put a new battery in it on Monday and she said that she knew that, she just wanted to make sure it was still in there. If you don't laugh, you cry.

Before I left last night, she was looking for something beside the bed. I got up and asked her what she was looking for. She told me she wanted that thing with the leg brace. Now this is a new one on me since we have nothing there with a leg brace. I went to get my Aunt and told her what was going on. We both went back and asked her again what she wanted. I gave her the remote for the bed and after raising and lowering the foot part a couple of times, she said that wasn't what she was looking for. She said, "I want that thing that has one button on it for the leg brace!". Then she laid back down and said, "I'll show you tomorrow."

The frustration is evident in everything she tries and she is confused a lot now. It is really hard watching her go from the vital, in control woman she has always been to this weak, confused little woman who needs to be helped with almost everything. However, I have a sense of calm about me. I have accepted that the end is near and in doing so, I am at peace. There has been such a feeling of peace and calmness this week. I am so very thankful that she isn't in any pain and that for the most part, she is still lucid and knows who everyone is and what is going on.

Thank you, all my bloggy friends, for all your kinds thoughts and words during this time. They have been a comfort to me. I'll be back when I can. I am working on some cross stitch and reading a lot while sitting with Mom.

Hugs,
Sharon